I talk about myself a lot but that’s to be expected given the objectives of my blog. The thing is though, that while I’m out discovering myself, there’s a whole lot of people who are affected by my…change. But no one is affected by my change more than my wife, who I love with my heart, my soul, my everything.
Sure, other people are affected. My son, my parents, my sisters, their families, my in-laws, my friends, my workmates. But no one else is affected anywhere near as much as my wonderful wife.
You see, she chose me to be her husband. She chose me to be with her for ever after. Neither of us have ever taken our wedding vows for granted. We were deadly serious about them. And it shows in how long we’ve been married.
The thing is I’ve changed. I haven’t changed my mind on our vows and our marriage, it’s just that my girl side is now out to the world. I did tell my wife about my girl side a few weeks after I met her, but neither of us expected Loretta to be around any more than a visit every now and then. We certainly weren’t expecting her to be the breadwinner, so things have changed a lot.
Even though I’ve changed, I’m still madly in love with my wife no matter which side of me is around. It doesn’t matter if I’m boy or girl, there is still only one girl for me, and that’s my wife. That’s the way I’m wired. As a boy I’m heterosexual, as a girl I’m lesbian. But either way she’s the love of my life and the only one for me.
From her side it must be a horrible mess. The boy she married and had a child with is a girl half of the time. She still loves the boy, but the girl? She’s not wired that way. She’s not into girls. And yet, here’s her husband…a girl half the time.
It gets worse I think. From her perspective it must be like I’m the other woman. You know, like I’m cheating on her, except I’m cheating on her with myself. No really, I spend quality time with a girl that isn’t my wife. Even if that other girl is still me, it must feel like I’m the other woman to her.
I’m so sorry! It wasn’t supposed to be like this. And I’m so so sorry if I’ve hurt or disappointed you. You are the love of my life. And I always want to be with you. I love you! Always and forever!