Horrible hair day! 

It’s windy! And my hair is a mess! I don’t normally do ponytails or braids or anything. I just let my wig sit as it is. But with the wind I’ve had to use a hair clip. That’s a bit of a problem because if I really tie it up I’ll expose my boy hair that’s underneath! Not what I want to do! 
So I’ve got my hair fairly loose. The clip is keeping most of the hair out of my face. But oh my goodness it looks very messy. Not at all how I want to look as Loretta. Now my hair generally doesn’t look like it’s been expertly done. But today? Aargh! 

I’m in the breeze waiting for the bus and my hair is being blown to bits! And to make matters a little worse I have short skirt issues with the breeze too! Oh well what can I say? It’s not like I can complain. These are definitely girl problems. So I’m just going to have to deal with it. 

Would I prefer to be a boy today so I could avoid the problem? No. Could I have worn something else? Yes. But to be honest the skirt problem is minor. It’s really the hair that’s the problem. I did go with my long wig today. I figured there would be more to tie. And there is so in that respect it worked…..just not terribly well. 

So what’s the solution? Short wig? I think I’d be showing off even more boy hair then. More practice? Yes that would help. And it’s also why I’ve been wearing my long wig these past few days. I think I have a better chance of doing a good job of tying it up…..with lots more practice. 

Or maybe I need to grin and bear it. I’m transgender. I wear a wig. It’s windy so I’m going to tie it, braid it whatever and sure that will show boy hair but it would be more bearable…..wouldn’t it? Oh I don’t know! I’m not that confrontational. Blend in, blend in…that’s always been my mantra. And as you know passing is important to me. 

Maybe the answer is headwear? Most girls, most people don’t wear hats nowadays, but maybe that’s worth investigating. Beanie? Sun hat? Cap? Hmm maybe a scarf? Oh that might work. I’ll have to investigate. 

Yes, this is part of why I blog. It gives me focus. So here’s the plan. I’m going to channel Grace Kelly! 90cm square scarf. Fold on diagonal. Then place on top if head, folded edge towards forehead, then wrap diagonal corners under chin and tie at back of neck over the other two corners. Now where’s my big sunnies? I am so going to do this. ☺️

Oh and if you’re wondering why I’m on the bus again. Don’t worry my knee is fine! However I have another cycling issue to fix. And a few day out of the saddle normally does the trick. 

Photo by Cassidy Kelley 

Does every cloud has a silver lining?

So if you’ve been reading my blog recently you’ll know that I was off my bike for a couple of weeks. That’s horrible for me because I love riding my bike. And I ride to work rain, hail or shine. But that doesn’t extend to riding through knee pain. So it was on to the backup plan of bus and train.

The thing is, during this time off the bike I learned so much. It’s funny how every cloud has a silver lining, so here’s what I achieved:

Doing my makeup in low light with the clock ticking really made me concentrate on my technique so that I could do it more quickly and efficiently. So makeup routine is now down to under 12 minutes!

Running for busses and trains really improved my walking in heels skills. I was already good but I think the extra walking and running has strengthened my muscles, and improved my coordination so that I’m even better than before.

I got to practice layering. There is no need for a coat at work. But definitely a need for a coat waiting for busses and trains in the morning. So I got to practice with layers every day. And I got better at coordinating my layers through constant practice.

I experienced more of life. Being a girl at work, for me, is easy. Everyone knows me and there’s not so many variables. Being out in the rest of the world constantly, gave me new experiences, some good like being treated like a woman. You know courtesy and all that. And some not so good, like being objectified as a woman. But it’s all life so I try to take the positive parts from the experience.

So yes, I missed my bike but I learned so much without it. So certainly this cloud had a silver lining. But I’m not sure if it applies to every cloud. I guess it depends if the glass is half full or half empty, and I’m a glass half full kind of girl 👧.

Photo by Paul Morris 

Back on my bike :-) 

Today should be the last day of busses and trains for me for a while. As I plan to be riding home this afternoon. My knee seems to be better now, and a short test ride yesterday to the post office didn’t cause any problems.

I’ve really missed being on my bike. Apart from being able to enjoy riding around it really reduced the flexibility of what I could do and when. Things like the shops being too far away now. Oh that makes me sound like a girl. I actually buy things for the office from the local shops. But without my bike it was too far and too hard to carry things. So I had to get home delivery… And the lag between order and delivery is like 3 days. So planning ahead is a must.

Then there’s the constant checking of timetables to see if I had to run and in which direction! And run I did sometimes. So I’ve definitely improved my skills in heels no end. And with just my trusty Crumpler for company I could only carry a little bit rather than a full pannier load.

But there were positives about public transport that I will miss. Things like two less changes. Going by bike means changing into riding clothes to go and then to come back. It doesn’t take that much longer but it’s really nice to be a girl door to door. And there’s the bonus of less clothes to wash.

Then there’s time for me to relax on the bus/train and listen to music and blog. I can’t really do that on the bike. I know I’m missing out on exercise but the walk to the station and back is quite a good workout, especially in heels, and especially if I have to run!

Cars! Ugh! I can’t escape cars either way. Now I know 99.999% of car drivers are great. I mean I’m a great car driver ☺️ It’s just the 0.001% that give me grief. On my bike it’s those honking at me to get off their roads. On public transport, or rather waiting for the bus, they honk at me because I’m a girl (yes I got honked at again this morning. No it’s not my imagination. When there’s only one car on the road and only me at the bus stop I’m sure they’re honking at me). Can’t win this one.

Actually the best thing about catching public transport has been that I can wear my coats! Ooh layers! Yes indeed. I can’t wear them on my bike….they don’t go with my riding gear. And at the office there is no need for a coat. But when I’m freezing my bits off waiting for a bus or a train, a coat is perfect! And they make you look good too! I think those French girls were onto something with their layering techniques!

So I’m looking forward to my ride this afternoon. But I might just hop back on public transport sometimes too because it has its good points too. Just don’t expect me to drive to work.

I did a last test ride around the park before going home today. Just to make sure I was good to go. I really didn’t want to get half way home and find that my knee wasn’t ready. So a quick spin in my work clothes was the plan. See, if my knee did play up I wouldn’t have to get changed back.

So off I went in my pink blush ribbed long sleeve top, my velvet mini, and my pink double strap mules. Of course this is what all the fashionable girls wear when they go for a ride 😅 Just a short flat loop with one small hill. Then zip down the other side back to the office. No I didn’t flash anyone in my mini. You wouldn’t believe it, but it’s actually surprisingly hard to do!

Anyway I pull up at the door to the office, and I get the heel of my mule stuck in my pedal and fall over, bike and all. I haven’t had a bike accident for a long, long time. Probably a decade ago was the last one (bloody dog owners that don’t use a leash). Luckily it was a slow fall with nothing in the way except the ground. And in any case my fall was broken by my big bum.

Damage report:

Big bottom – superficial contusion;

Sense of humour – still intact;

New pantyhose – write off;

Pink double strap mule (left) – initially stuck in rear spokes but safely extracted;

Dignity – I flashed everyone in sight! Legs akimbo, sprawled on the ground. Fortunately there was no one in sight so dignity intact. And because no one saw it…it never happened 😉

So I was good enough to ride home and I did. And my knee is fine so I’ll be riding again next week rain, hail or shine. Yay! But I’m still annoyed about my pantyhose 🙁

Photo by Edwin Andrade

New breasts

I’ve decided. Enough is enough. I need new boobs! No I’m not getting a boob job. I’m not that brave. And besides I’m bigender so getting a boob job would mean that I have to strap them down in boy mode. So probably easier to add boobs than to hide them. 

But why? Do I want to be bigger? Smaller? Actually I really like the size I have at the moment. I’m a C cup, so not too big and not too small. I must have goldilocks spirit in me. 

No the problem is that my current breastforms are breaking down inside. It’s fairly early in the piece so they’re still usable and not uncomfortable at all. However, everyday I can see that they get a little bit worse, so it’s only a matter of time before they become bags of slush. 

Now I guess the gut-reaction is not to buy those forms again / or buy from that store again. However I contacted the store by email and let them know what problems I was having. They asked for some photos and when they saw them they said it was a manufacturing defect and that they would replace them ☺️

I can’t speak highly enough of the service I got from the breastformstore.com. This is not a shameless plug for them, but the best way I can acknowledge and thank them. The service I received from them was second to none. Even though I am half a world away from them, they really looked after me. And instead of shipping me a new pair of breastforms off the shelf, they had a brand new pair made for me. 

Oh I think they want my loyalty. Oh I so think they’ve got it. I’m very excited that I’m getting new boobs. Probably more so because of what they represent rather them being new, or because they’re boobs. They represent really being looked after. And that feeling is so awesome! 

Thanks Eden! 

Photo by Chloe Si

New photo ID? 

Today I’m off to the city for work. But first a quick stop at service NSW to see if I can get a new photo ID. You see most of the time when I’m out and about during the week my drivers license looks nothing like me. I know that everyone says this. But I think I look more different to my license than most.

I’m really not sure if I’ll be successful or not but it would be nice. It’s not as if I want to put “Loretta” on the ID. I’m happy to have boy name on there. I just want it to look more like me.

So here I am, on the bus, and it’s a little draughty, in my LBD. Yes. I’m wearing a dress! First time in nine months! It’s not that I don’t like dresses. I just find it tricky to find one that suits me.

As you can see this one is quite business like. Cap sleeves, just above the knee (well it is on me!), fit and flare shape with lace detail at the neck and hem. I have my pink and blue butterfly necklace and pink and blue swan bracelet to accessorise the black look. I’ve got my black guess jacket to up the business look. And my black ankle boots to maintain the black look. Finished with my blush duster coat for a bit of warmth and contrast. Bag for the day is my trusty brick orange Crumpler. Not exact business like but my bag choices are limited, especially if I need to carry a little bit more than handbag size. I think I look pretty good ☺️

Well that was a nice letdown. I was geared up for difficulty at service NSW with getting a new photo ID. It was no problem whatsoever. I just hope my photo looks alright. Glasses off, hair off eyebrows, no smiling. The lady serving me was wonderful. Couldn’t ask for nicer service. It was just so easy. So in two weeks time I should have my new girly looking ID 👩

To celebrate I went for breakfast at The Grounds @ the galleries. Usually I’m a muesli kind of girl. But with training on I thought I better fuel up for better concentration. So I ordered a wild mushroom feuilettè. It was beautiful with petals and fresh herbs strewn across it. And the poached eggs looked fantastic! It… was….delicious! My only tiny gripe was that they used a little too much vinegar to keep the poached eggs together. However they were perfectly cooked. Oh I would so eat that again if I get the chance.

It’s staff training day today. So I walked from the city up to kings cross as I had plenty of time to get there. However the venue was a little tricky to find…. I had a map and everything! Eventually I had to ask a concierge. I really don’t like doing that. It’s not their job but I walked down and up and back down so I had a good look. And I only had five minutes to get there and I hadn’t seen anyone else. It turns out I was ten metres away. I just had to do a u-turn to get to the door I didn’t see!

Training was 7 habits of effective people….on speed! It was a good little course. Certainly some useful pieces to take away and use for work and iny life. But to be honest this wasn’t the major thing for my day.

I had made a 2pm appointment to see my aunt and uncle at their office. With a bit of luck I hopped on a bus going almost to their door with just enough time to make it. They hadn’t met Loretta before but I did give my aunt the heads up and she was already supportive, so this should be easy. But still it’s the first step in letting my extended family know.

And as expected it went really well. My uncle was very shocked even though he was forewarned. So we sat and chatted….about me funnily enough. And it was really good to talk with them about this. It’s still didn’t make tea any nicer though. But I felt like I had to say yes to tea. At least it was wet. #teasux

They were so supportive and were only worried about what this meant for my little family. Which is exactly my main worry so I really felt that they understood. And I let them know that was my priority as well.

To top it off my aunty said that my new look really suited me. And that I looked quite sophisticated. I told her that I tried really hard to blend in. And she told me that I had failed, because I dressed so well that I stood out. Oh dear! Have I done too much? No she said that it looked effortless and not overdone. I know my aunty has good taste and a keen eye for fashion so this was high praise indeed.

So another day done. Another one where there could have been problems but again everything went so smoothly for me that it’s hard to believe. I still think that I’m going to find some difficult days on my journey. But so far I seem to be charmed. I…AM…SO…LUCKY!

Zoey dress by atmos&here from the iconic 

Blush duster coat by Wallis from the iconic 

Fifty! 

Oh my goodness time creeps up you! This is my fiftieth…..post! I wasn’t sure how successful my blog would be when I started it but it’s exceeded my expectations. No, hardly anyone reads it but it has been the perfect way to gather my thoughts and really think about what it means to me to be transgender. 

I thoroughly recommend writing your thoughts down to get a better grasp of what it all means. You don’t have to go public like I did. But I feel that going public held me accountable for writing logically? Or at least not just writing random thoughts so that my posts had closure. Leaving too many open ended posts gets you nowhere. In any case it’s OK to change your thoughts later on. You might have new information which gives you a new insight. 

Have I figured everything thing out? Absolutely not! I don’t think I ever will. But that’s not the point. The thing is, this is a journey, and I want to keep my eyes open and experience what’s going on. And this blog is essentially snapshots of where I am on my journey. It’s an exciting, amazing journey that only a privileged few of us get to go on. There will be good times and bad times, but as long as I get to live my life, my way, it will be awesome. 

For most of the world gender seems fairly black and white. For me there’s a whole kaleidoscope of colours here. I’m not sure I’ll ever figure out which colours are mine but I’m sure that I’m going to have a Hella good time exploring. 

Photo by Levi Guzman

Automatic pilot? 

Back in May I was finding that my boy side and girl side were getting all mixed up.. Now however I’m finding that I’m a little bit more on auto pilot when it comes to how I sound at least. 
Last week I had to call Energy Australia. Somehow in the process of changing over my dad’s account over to mum’s name, they also managed to change my account to mum’s name too! But they couldn’t just change it back. They had to go through the process of opening a new account 😕 

I called them from work as I had to call them during business hours. So it was Loretta who called, pretending to be boy me. It was early and it was just Kim and I in the office so I wasn’t worried about other people hearing my boy voice. And I needed to use my boy voice to get the account fixed. Or so I thought. 

Anyway we were going through the process of opening the new account. You know address of property, name, drivers license, etc etc. Then they stopped and asked, “Is that Mrs or Ms?”. Well that stopped me in my tracks. Here I am, trying my best to be boy me and they pick up my girl vibes over the phone. 

I double check what his question was and say, “Would you believe it’s actually Mr?”. He apologises and we go on. I give up trying to sound boy. And Loretta talks to him for the rest of the call. We get the new account open and I get a credit for the trouble caused. 

So what happened there? I was trying to be boy me. But I certainly didn’t look like boy me. And over the phone they picked up on girl me even though I gave them boy name. Was I in Loretta mode and the underlying vibe I’m giving out girl? Or is Loretta taking over and it’s more difficult to be boy me? 

I suspect that because work time is Loretta time, then that’s my default way of being. So that’s how the girl vibe slipped out. Similarly at home my default mode is boy, and it’s tricky to be Loretta when you look like a yucky boy. Even when I’ve come home as Loretta, or have gotten ready to go out as Loretta I still sound like boy me at home…. I think. 

The other day I had to call some tyre stores to find out if they had the tyres I needed. And given that it was boy me that was going to drive there I thought boy me should talk with them. I was working from home that day, so I was actually the boy. Now those were very blokey conversations and seeing as I got called “mate” I think I passed the boy test. 

So my separation of girl and boy sides to work and home seems to be my autopilot mode as well. Even if I’m consciously thinking of the other side. No matter, so long as I can blend in when I need to is the important part for me. 

Loretta is certainly giving out more and more girl vibes now that she’s had more practice. I think this is a good thing? But the reasons I know about the girl vibes aren’t so good. On the phone the other day I got called “doll”. Cheeky sod! Thinking back to the conversation it wasn’t business like, it was a lot friendlier than that. It was actually a work call, and Loretta’s girly exuberance was shining through. But getting called “doll” at the end of it was a bit of a shock. 

Then walking home from the bus the other day I got honked at again. I was listening to Jessie J at the time, so that might have given me a bit of a girly strut. What is it with honking cars? Last time I thought it was my long wig, and skinny jeans that might have attracted attention. This time, usual wig, dark red long sleeve top and a white floral midi skirt with taupe ankle boots. Perhaps it’s not the clothes. Perhaps it’s the girly vibe that I give out when I’m listening to music. 

Then at Trivia lunch the other day we lucky girls scored the barstools at the high table. As the others went to order lunch I sat, and waited. And looked out the open door directly opposite me, and noticed the table of boys all staring in the door….at me… Me who was wearing a short flip skirt, sitting on a bar stool, at their eye level. I quickly crossed my legs and put my jacket on my legs. It wasn’t as if I had my legs akimbo, they were together, but boys being boys still wanted to check out my knickers! 

Anyway, I guess I’m getting bad positive feedback about my femininity… Oh good I pass. 

Photo by Austin Neill

Is being Loretta a control thing? 

Sometimes I feel like my life is out of control. There are so many things going on. It feels like I just get pulled from here to there and back again. And that’s in my home life and in my work life. So it gets me wondering if being Loretta is the one thing that I do have control over? And is that why I love being Loretta?

It’s not like I’m immune to the push and pull of life when I’m Loretta. At work I’m always Loretta and things get pushed and pulled all over the place there. But being Loretta is my choice. No one can change that. It’s my choice.

Seriously, who in their right mind would choose to be bigender? I mean really, you’re a boy sometimes and a girl at other times? How does that work? Quite possibly this is the most difficult gender to be. But I love it because it’s me, all of me. Not just part of me. I no longer need to repress part of who I am.

So it was definitely a conscious decision to embrace first being transgender, to now being bigender. And at the same time to let Loretta out. But is it a control thing? I don’t think my life as Loretta is under control. There’s still a lot of push and pull. But I do have control over how I express myself. Before, I submitted to society’s control of how I expressed myself. So in that respect being Loretta is a control thing.

But is the control the reason I love being Loretta? Is this a two fingered salute to society? Honestly I don’t think like that. Being Loretta is a joy. It’s the part of me that’s been hidden for so long, and I’m absolutely loving being able to express this side of me. And to have society at the stage where I feel safe and supported as Loretta? That’s just the cherry on top. And I love 🍒!

So no, being Loretta is not a control thing. I am Loretta because it’s who I am, and I love being all of me. And like the song from the movie, the flower drum goes, I enjoy being a girl! 

Photo by Marcela Laskoski

Knee trouble 

Occasionally I have trouble with my left knee when I’m riding my bike. It probably flares up once a year but is manageable. Yesterday I could feel it wasn’t right on the way to work but it wasn’t too bad. But then when I went to pick up the mail for work it was not good. By the time I rode back to the office I was doubtful that I would be riding home. I could have made it but that would have meant a longer recovery. At the end of the day I headed for the train.

So no bike for the rest of the week in an effort to get my knee right for next week. Last year this might have meant that Loretta took a break from work and boy me would go instead. But not this year. I know, I know I’m bigender so it shouldn’t be a big deal right?

Not a big deal for me but it might confuse things at work. Transgender is one step but bigender might be a step too far. I know the boss is old school and while accepting, he still has issues getting Loretta and pronouns right. In any case I need my girl time.

So for the rest of the week I’m a girl, door to door. Usually girl time starts at work. Seeing as I ride to work and get changed anyway it made sense. I probably already was a girl door to door but the lack of boobs when I ride really does make a difference. So 5am makeup call is on for the rest of the week.

So am I a girl of convenience? Oh that sounds terrible! Even worse than telling people I’m a working girl! But seriously do I take the easy way out when it comes to being a girl? I mean I really could ride to work with wig and boobs on. So why don’t I?

In the summer I knew why. I really didn’t want to get my girl stuff all sweaty. Whether or not that was a valid reason doesn’t matter at this time of year because it’s nice and cool. And yes it’s definitely more convenient to girl up after I ride into work. But I do have to get changed at work after I ride anyway so I guess it makes sense to girl up then.

Am I a girl when it’s convenient? Well if this were true I probably wouldn’t be a girl this week. These 5am makeup calls are exhausting! It’s a huge commitment to embrace being bigender. Mentally and physically it takes a lot of concentration and effort. And the time it takes up! Hoo boy! I’m no girly girl but getting ready to be me takes time. And then I have to switch!

I’m not complaining. This is what it takes to be me. Yes I’m going to take the easier, more convenient way sometimes but I think I’ve earned it. Hopefully my knee is better next week. It’s been wonderful being a girl door to door but I miss my bike. And these bus rides are getting old.

Photo from freestocks.org

Long day…..but a good one! 

So it’s GQ meeting day today! Yay! I’ve been looking forward to catching up with S&O&M. And to thanking and farewelling AM. But there’s a lot to get through today…starting with a 545am makeup call. The things we girls do to get ready before we head out the door.
Of course my best laid plans came undone with the morning bus. No I didn’t miss it again, this time it was ten minutes late. And it had a knock-on effect for the rest of the day. So straight away that put me back 15 minutes because I had to get the next train. But this isn’t a whinge it’s just that I struggled to get those ten minutes back.

So busy day. I do accounts work and today BAS is due. It’s the last BAS for the financial year so it’s pretty important which means there’s lots more things for me to check. My estimate was that I would need all day to get it done. I was right apart from a lunch break that’s all I did.

Lunch break? Oh yeah! Today I scored a free buffet lunch at the local Cafe as part of their promotions. I got the third last ticket. They went all out making their regular menu…but buffet style and they did it well. I’ve had lunch there before and it was really good. Today was just as good so they didn’t slack off and the buffet style didn’t faze the kitchen.

Mini-burgers, salmon sushi, chicken wings, frittata, pizza, and a deep fried rice ball topped with smoked salmon. Well that’s what I sampled and it was all very good. There was nothing that I thought afterwards that I wished I hadn’t picked up. Not only delicious but professionally presented too. I really hope their promotion is a success because they really went all out for it. 😋

Sounds like a long lunch? No it was very strictly timed so I was back at work thirty minutes after I left. #thankgodforbicycles So I was still only 15 minutes behind on my day. Back at work and I hammered out the BAS report. Triple checked everything. Pulled out supporting documents and emails. And I got it done and lodged in time….just. And then I saved ten minutes. The boss couldn’t authorise the payment today, so there was no need for me to do the bank transaction. Yes!

So fix makeup, grab my handbag and coat, turn the alarm on and go go go! Normally it’s a fifteen minute fast walk to the station. My plan all day was to allow twenty. Yesterday I road tested my 8cm block heel black ankle boots with a long walk. And I was confident that I would be able to last the night in them. However it would take me longer to get around than in my usual flats.

I set off at a brisk walk. I had saved ten minutes so I had 15 minutes to get there. It was going to be very close. As I walked I pulled out my travel card because there would be no time later. I made it to the street where the station was when the train pulled in. If I was at the steps I would have been even money to make it. An extra 80 metres? No chance. Sigh! I was 15 minutes behind again.

Plenty of time to listen to music then. Today’s anthem is “Last Friday night”. My goodness! Who knew I liked mainstream pop? That’s so not the boy me. But here I am, this girl who is loving it! Carly Rae, Jessie J, Taylor, Katy, Ariane….what happened to me?

The train zipped me into central where I stopped for a quick dinner at Menya. My favourite ramen bar. I had their classic menya pork ramen in shoyu.. $10.30. Now I know lunch was free and it was very good. But if I had to pay for it versus ramen from menya? Menya hands down… Winner! I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad meal here and the prices are so good.

After slurping down my noodles (not really, girls don’t do that do we?) it was off to the bus. 9 minutes to the GQ meeting and the bus trip is 14. Not too bad, I won’t be too late. I arrive at my stop and wait at the lights to cross. When I get across I can see up the street to the office where the meeting is. And I can see someone outside. Then it looks like they try the door, turn around and head up the hill. I think it might be S.

I quickly walk to the office and the door is locked AND it’s dark inside. I’m sure it was S! So I walk up the hill after her but she’s too far ahead…I have to run if I want to catch her. 8cm heels? Come on girl you can do this. So I run, I’m not fast but I’m gaining. I cross a side street and then the traffic on the main road stops for the lights. If I yell her name she might just hear me. But yelling as a girl? New territory. My girl voice is very soft so it might not work. And while S is a girl, she’s not ready to dress like one. So if there’s someone else around I might just out her. But everyone else is a bit further away.

I call her name…nothing. I continue to run and I call her name again. She turns but doesn’t see me and continues walking. No one should be calling out her girl name so it makes sense that she thinks she’s hearing things. I’m sure the traffic will start again any moment, “S………!” And she stops, turns and walks back down the hill as I finally catch up to her. She’s as glad to see me as I am to see her.

We walk back down the hill and check the office for any signs of life. And decide that they are definitely closed tonight. So we decided to hold our own meeting up at the pub. After all that running and yelling this girl deserves a golden ale mmmm! S doesn’t drink much so settles for water.

We had a good long chat about being transgender. I don’t get to do this apart from the meetings, and certainly not to this depth. Yes I blog about it a little, but it’s more of a one sided conversation. And while I have more experience than S, and she felt that she might have been picking my brains or being intrusive. I felt that I was getting just as much out of it by talking about it.

I suggested that she might like to come along to the Friday night social so that she could have a venue to dress up and be S. And she might just do that. It’s certainly a safe venue for her to do it, and might open her eyes to what’s possible. Anyway we’ll see next month.

We chatted for an hour and a half but it didn’t seem like it and it was a little surreal. There we were sitting in a pub. A family having dinner behind us. Other tables filled with people enjoying a quiet drink with friends at the end of the week. And here we were having a perfectly normal conversation about being transgender. It was wonderful!

Eventually I thought I’d better make tracks if I wanted to get to the Friday night social, AND get home in time to see family So we said our goodbyes and we were both so happy that we managed to catch up with each other. And we looked forward to catching up again next month.

Across the road to wait for the bus. Where there was an old Greek milkbar.. Must have been there since the 50s. Serious time warp. Six minutes to wait…..and get leered at by some random walking by… Creepy! I don’t like this part of being a girl. But I guess it comes with the territory so I’ll just have to deal.

Oh boy! Now that’s one hot bus. Heaters going full blast. Had to move to the aisle to cool down. Halfway! Bus transfer. But twenty minute wait. What’s a girl to do when she’s hot and bothered and has time on her hands?  Gelato of course! Sour 🍒 mmmmmmm! I came at the right time, ordered quickly and claimed a seat at the window. Legs crossed if course! The sour cherry was delicious 😋. And very popular. Lots of people ordered it and I had to squeeze my way back out of the gelato bar so I could keep on going.

I made my way to the bus stop for the second leg of the journey. And didn’t have to wait long and I was on my way again. Certainly making good use of my opal card today. I wonder if I’ll hit the cap? It’s amazing how fast the busses are when it’s not peak hour. In next to no time I was getting off the bus for the short walk to the Friday night social and only half an hour late.

There’s quite a few girls in tonight. It looks like around 30 of us. Oh and in the back corner there seems to be a store selling quite a few things that us girls need to help us be……girls. M tells me that they always come to the July meeting because it’s just before the ball. And OMG it’s the Breastformstore! How lucky is that?

Why is it lucky? Well I’m actually having trouble with my…..ahem…boobs. I think the silicone is breaking down. No leaks but I’m in need of replacements. Given that I purchased them from overseas I was sure they would ask for them to be shipped back for inspection so it might not be worth it.

But I got them from the Breastformstore overseas so talking to the Australian affiliated store might be the stroke of luck I need. So I meet Tanya and David who own the store and tell them my problem. Of course they want to check out my boobs for themselves. So we do swapsies, Amazingly they had exactly the same breastform as I was wearing, even the same size.

So off I went to the changing room to swap boobs. And then I realised that I was wearing my bodysuit. (Fantastic to wear with jeans in colder weather to give you another layer without mucking up how your jeans fit ☺️) Hopefully I can get away without having to take everything off! After a little trial and error it wasn’t so bad. Top up. Undo bra and slip the form out the side and then reverse. I was worried I would have to get naked!

Both Tanya and David check out my boobs and declare that it’s a manufacturing defect. Apparently the silicone is starting to separate and they can’t find any punctures which is good. They take some photos and tell me to get in touch with the overseas store and if I’m lucky they might replace them. The overseas store will probably get in touch with Tanya and David to check though.

This is good news. I had pretty much written them off. Apparently they’re supposed to be pretty bullet proof and should last 18 months or so. However David suggests that maybe the gold seal or amolux might be a better long-term solution for me. He actually recommended the aphrodites but sadly I’m allergic to them 🙁. They had some gold seal there and they look to have a stronger back construction…so maybe. I’ll have to check out the amolux which are supposed to be hypo-allergenic. So hopefully I’ll get some free replacements and I’ll also get a new pair as well. A girl’s got to put her best boobs forward right?

Oh my! Time is slipping away. If I leave right now I’ll make it in time before family goes to sleep…. And I’ve got 5 minutes to make the bus! I grab my handbag, pull my jacket and coat out from behind J who’s sitting on them. Say some quick goodbyes and I’m off. Out the door, cross the street and run! More running! I’m glad I’ve worn these boots in. I’m not fast but it makes a difference. I get to the bus stop and 20 seconds later I’m on the bus. Thank goodness for real time apps ☺️

I’m not too far from home so it’s a short bus ride. However this route is a backstreet one so it’s a good 1.5 km walk from here in my 8cm ankle 👢. Thankfully Jessie j and Carly Rae keep my walking tempo up. Oh my!  Walking to these beats certainly gives me a girly strut. I guess in these heels it’s inevitable….and I like it! 😊

Add in some strutting to Ariane and I’m home.  And I make it in time to reconnect with family. Thank goodness!  I hate days where I don’t get to see and talk to them. Fortunately those days don’t happen very often. It’s only a quick reconnect as everyone is ready for bed, including me! It was a long day…but a good one!

Photo by Sandi Shelvigs