Automatic pilot? 

Back in May I was finding that my boy side and girl side were getting all mixed up.. Now however I’m finding that I’m a little bit more on auto pilot when it comes to how I sound at least. 
Last week I had to call Energy Australia. Somehow in the process of changing over my dad’s account over to mum’s name, they also managed to change my account to mum’s name too! But they couldn’t just change it back. They had to go through the process of opening a new account 😕 

I called them from work as I had to call them during business hours. So it was Loretta who called, pretending to be boy me. It was early and it was just Kim and I in the office so I wasn’t worried about other people hearing my boy voice. And I needed to use my boy voice to get the account fixed. Or so I thought. 

Anyway we were going through the process of opening the new account. You know address of property, name, drivers license, etc etc. Then they stopped and asked, “Is that Mrs or Ms?”. Well that stopped me in my tracks. Here I am, trying my best to be boy me and they pick up my girl vibes over the phone. 

I double check what his question was and say, “Would you believe it’s actually Mr?”. He apologises and we go on. I give up trying to sound boy. And Loretta talks to him for the rest of the call. We get the new account open and I get a credit for the trouble caused. 

So what happened there? I was trying to be boy me. But I certainly didn’t look like boy me. And over the phone they picked up on girl me even though I gave them boy name. Was I in Loretta mode and the underlying vibe I’m giving out girl? Or is Loretta taking over and it’s more difficult to be boy me? 

I suspect that because work time is Loretta time, then that’s my default way of being. So that’s how the girl vibe slipped out. Similarly at home my default mode is boy, and it’s tricky to be Loretta when you look like a yucky boy. Even when I’ve come home as Loretta, or have gotten ready to go out as Loretta I still sound like boy me at home…. I think. 

The other day I had to call some tyre stores to find out if they had the tyres I needed. And given that it was boy me that was going to drive there I thought boy me should talk with them. I was working from home that day, so I was actually the boy. Now those were very blokey conversations and seeing as I got called “mate” I think I passed the boy test. 

So my separation of girl and boy sides to work and home seems to be my autopilot mode as well. Even if I’m consciously thinking of the other side. No matter, so long as I can blend in when I need to is the important part for me. 

Loretta is certainly giving out more and more girl vibes now that she’s had more practice. I think this is a good thing? But the reasons I know about the girl vibes aren’t so good. On the phone the other day I got called “doll”. Cheeky sod! Thinking back to the conversation it wasn’t business like, it was a lot friendlier than that. It was actually a work call, and Loretta’s girly exuberance was shining through. But getting called “doll” at the end of it was a bit of a shock. 

Then walking home from the bus the other day I got honked at again. I was listening to Jessie J at the time, so that might have given me a bit of a girly strut. What is it with honking cars? Last time I thought it was my long wig, and skinny jeans that might have attracted attention. This time, usual wig, dark red long sleeve top and a white floral midi skirt with taupe ankle boots. Perhaps it’s not the clothes. Perhaps it’s the girly vibe that I give out when I’m listening to music. 

Then at Trivia lunch the other day we lucky girls scored the barstools at the high table. As the others went to order lunch I sat, and waited. And looked out the open door directly opposite me, and noticed the table of boys all staring in the door….at me… Me who was wearing a short flip skirt, sitting on a bar stool, at their eye level. I quickly crossed my legs and put my jacket on my legs. It wasn’t as if I had my legs akimbo, they were together, but boys being boys still wanted to check out my knickers! 

Anyway, I guess I’m getting bad positive feedback about my femininity… Oh good I pass. 

Photo by Austin Neill


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