I think I spend a lot of my life tiptoeing around. Take this morning for example. Rather than go for a ride I lay around in bed until everyone woke up. I thought they were going to wake up earlier than they did. And then when they did I got up and did the washing, breakfast and then more tiptoeing around until they got out of bed….two and a half hours later!
My life is a lot like this. Trying to keep quiet and not disturb things. Sadly it doesn’t do me any favours and I don’t complete enough of what I want to get done. I actually have to stop this and just be me and get things done.
It’s like this with my being transgender. Hence the girl at work, boy at home dividing line. It helps others out, and allows me to express myself but not always at the time that I would like to. Hence my dysphoria watch series of blogs.
It’s part of me flying under the radar. Trying not to draw attention to myself. Being as feminine as possible in girl mode. Long hair, girly skirt, fitted top,make-up, hip sway….well maybe I am drawing attention to myself but only insofar as that I’m trying to make sure that there’s no mistaking me for anything but a girl.
Sadly however this tiptoeing around doesn’t seem to be working so I’m going to have to be proactive and get some stuff done!
Photo by Alexandre Tsuchiya