How old am I?

The quick answer is….old! But the real answer is…..it varies. Why? OK so there’s chronological age. And yes I’m old. I’m no longer a Spring chicken. Summer has passed and I’m into Autumn.

But how old do I feel? Physically I feel like I’m an early Autumn. Certainly past my prime but still fitter than most my age and probably decades younger. I mean I do keep fit by riding to work almost every day.

In my head, as a boy, I feel my age, I’m married and I have a child and I’ve lived the things I’m supposed to have by now…..as a boy. But as a girl? As a girl there are so many holes in my life. And as a result my age as a girl varies……a lot.

In my head, as a girl, I’m a good 15 years younger. I think that it’s because there’s so much of being a girl that I missed out on. Again I’m no spring chicken but it’s definitely summer. My body is in reasonable shape and with a bit of ‘help’ I can be quite attractive.

But that’s in general. At many times I’m a Spring chicken because I’m still learning the skills of being a girl. So in lots and lots of ways I’m an ingenue….and I show it. However I do have the experience of life to help me fill in some of the missing parts. But there’s so much that can only be learned by practice.

And in my life there’s not much time for practice. There’s do, or do not. Hence most of the time summer me is around. But every now and again the spring chicken ingenue is around…no time to practise….just do.

It can be plain funny or quite embarrassing at times. Or at other times it turns out to be another step in my life as a girl. Take my outfit in my last post for example.

So today I’m a guess girl. Short flirty black shorts, my peach mules and a body hugging top that has 3/4 sleeves and a black mesh panel above my breasts. You can see my bra straps but there’s nothing I can do about that. Its a black top with a red rose pattern. The length of my shorts, the tightness of my top and the black mesh, the peach ruffle mules all scream girl. Not just any girl, but a sexy girl.

This was supposed to be an at work alone day. But as it turned out I was dressed quite overtly sexy, and had to deal with four tradesmen who, to be honest, had trouble keeping their eyes off me. So the plan was practise, but the reality was do.

Oh it was funny, in the ‘best laid plans’ type of funny. But I wasn’t embarrassed, in fact I was comfortable in the way I looked. Even if I felt like a Spring chicken trying to find her way. But it was another step in my life of being a girl.

So how old am I? It varies, but I’m working on filling in life holes so hopefully it will become a little more consistent. I doubt my girl age will ever catch up to my boy age though.

Photo by Audrey Fretz

#97

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