Another month and another counselling session. It’s like my life revolves around getting to these checkpoints. I really, really appreciate these sessions at the gender centre which are provided to me for free. If I had to find the $ to pay for counselling each month privately it would be a struggle and another stress for me.
And I don’t want to take advantage of this gift. I know that in a lot of ways I’m having an easier time of it than so many other transgender people who also need counselling. But I do still need it. Maybe one day I will stop counselling, but not for a while yet.
Especially not after last month’s meltdown, where I was feeling a bit broken. I managed to pull myself back up by changing my perspective to one that’s a ‘glass half full’. And it’s definitely helped. I’ve so much positive going on, so why am I focusing on the negative?
Interestingly, Candy noted that I had taken a step back from where I was last time, and was actually looking at things from an objective point of view. And from there I could see what I could do to help myself. The last time I was there I was really ‘in my life’ swimming in it. Or more like trying not to drown in it.
It’s not like one perspective is better than the other. You actually need both, and it’s like a dance moving from one to the other and then back again. And this looking from an objective point of view is something that I’ve probably had a problem with for a long time.
Candy said that when you’re ‘in your life’ it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. And that’s exactly what my eldest sister said about me so many years ago. “You know, you don’t seem to be able to see the forest for the trees.” And it’s true, I know I like looking at trees. I just need to add a bit of balance by looking at the forest sometimes too.
So life goes on. And hopefully I can pick up some more skills along the way so that I can enjoy my life to the fullest. Thanks Candy, thanks gender centre. I really need you right now and I’m so glad that you are there for me.